Check In

Excited and anxious
Keen and tired
Committed and stressed
Curious and concerned

At a recent keynote  presentation for a large corporate audience I started with a Check In.  This was the word-cloud response to the simple question “How are you feeling”?   It was anonymous, but the responses revealed some some distinct themes.

Many words expressed the feelings of well-being – excited, happy, positive, motivated, energised, inspired.

But many exposed emotions that do not feed us so well – tired, challenged, worried, concerned.

Emotions sit on a continuum, both individually and collectively. 

By individually I mean, that I can be both excited and terrified at the same time.  I was overjoyed and a little bit sad when I waved my daughter goodbye, as she leaves home for Japan (its a long way!), and leaps into the big wide world to begin her adult life for real.   

There is a natural tension that can be empowering or debilitating as we occupy different ends of the emotional continuum seemingly at the same time.  There is equal satisfaction in being in a positive state as there is in overcoming a potentially negative one; the buzz from applying the courage to step into the unknown and from being loved. 

The same principle applies to any group of people.

Collectively, within a group there may be an emotional spread across a multitude of emotions. The general mood might be upbeat, but within the group some could be struggling. The words and messages paint a positive picture, but beneath the surface might lie concern, fear, hopelessness.  

Conversely, in a stressful situation we may not all be suffering at the same time or at all.

So how do we deal with this? How do we allow every individual to habit their personal place on that emotional continuum but still hold a collective feeling?  How do we move forward as one when we are, in reality, emotional disparate?

Be conscious with how you are feeling; check in with your self first.

Be comfortable to share the reality of how you are and don’t just roll along with the group-feel.

Be open to how others are feeling – their feelings are real and tangible for them.

Drop your judgement – we cannot all be happy or sad at the same time as others.

But the most impactful act that we can all take part in that helps us individually and collectively understand, cope and move forward is the Check-In.  A check in does not need to be formal – it’s as simple as saying good morning and listening to the response.

Stop and ask

Listen and respect

Be compassionate to yourself and others.